They Didn't Have It. Now They Do.
I have a bunch of problems. Aspergers is the main one. Dyspraxia… dyscalculia. But for years I believed I had ADHD. I don’t mean that in a scatterbrained ditzy bimbo way, I mean, it’s rather disabling. I won’t make an essay or a video series out of my symptoms. Every scatty cunt is doing that these days. I’ve never had a diagnosis because my GP said “there’s no specialist in this region” (untrue) and “there’s a long waiting list.” After 8 years of waiting, I’m not expecting much.
Years ago, I was unemployed, looking for work. My attention span was so bad, I couldn’t focus on application forms. My GP referred me to an employment help charity for people with disabilities, mental health problems or autism. A woman would help me fill in the application forms and look for jobs suitable for my long list of problems. It was the only way it would be completed.
I was explaining my issues to a friend, about how hard it is to find something that didn’t bore me to distraction; I needed variety. I got through a series of part time jobs that year (I think it was 2015) and only stuck with one. I’d get bored, be patronised because people think autism and selective mutism means you’re slow, and I’d end up walking out and never returning. My friend was very patronising, saying I have to suck it up, because everyone’s job is boring (untrue) and being bored is just a fact of life, that I was entitled to expect anything else.
Fast forward to 2023, and the same friend now has an ADHD diagnosis. She decided this was the condition to pursue after revealing she could never stick to one job, would walk out through boredom or she was sacked for incompetence caused by ADHD. Oh! If I was more cunty, I’d tell her she was entitled to expect anything more than repetitive boredom until retirement. Drone jobs are a fact of life!
This has happened before. I struggle with maths. It’s not just “being bad with sums”. I am learning disability level innumerate and need help with my banking, measuring things, numbers get transposed, I can’t remember sequences well. The condition is called dyscalculia is common with dyspraxia, a coordination disability. I made a comment on Facebook saying it’s not a big deal, I’ve never needed maths; my partner helps me, we can’t be good at everything.
A friend was condescending, telling me how important maths has been to her. Yes, she’s bad at it, but her GSCE was invaluable. Cool sis, happy for you, but I didn’t make it, I failed once and was declared unteachable when I tried to resit maths as an adult! She rambled on about the greatness of maths and told me that my life will forever be restricted by my lack of GCSE. Let me just add, I’m shit at maths, but I’m far more intelligent than this friend. If she wasn’t funny, I’d have got rid of her years ago for her monumentally dumb takes on everything.
Anyway, a few years ago, she materialised dyscalculia, and claimed her problems with mathematics has blighted her whole life. She was trying to see a specialist. Eh? She gained a B at GCSE - it was her ONLY good grade. I said this. She said her mum forced her to have extra tuition and it was the only reason she did well. Hmmm. So what was that “maffs is so crucial to human existence” speech she gave a decade ago?
A decade ago, these people spoke to me like I was one of these blue-haired entitled fake neurodivergent TikTokers, only to spring up years later claiming they’ve always had what I had. Where was your solidarity back then or have you just gained retroactive disabilities? Reminds me of these Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria people who rewrite their entire back story as gender bending when they never were. Rapid Onset Neurodivergence.